Friday, February 22, 2008

Pointless update.

I wish I were able to find some sort of reason for existence.
I need to feel that. I need to know that there's a reason, a point.
I have been looking for years, and the answers I occasionally stumble upon always turn to shit. Thus making life even more pointless and hard to tolerate.
I would give anything to be another dumb fuck that could accept the bullshit that helps most of our worthless population get by.

Oh well.

Maybe someday.


Thursday, December 6, 2007

Insomnia is trendy...

Much like A.D.D., insomnia is rather trendy these days. I wish that the past few weeks were merely me attempting to fit in. I'd say I've slept about 3/24 hours, every day, for the past however long. Too long.

It sucks.

I'm not tired. I just get bored laying in bed for hours upon hours.

Example, I went to bed shit-face-wasted around 11:45 PM last night. I woke up 2 hours later and haven't been able to sleep since.

Fuck everything.

I'm getting my license back soon. Pretty cool.


Wednesday, December 5, 2007


Oh, to fuck it
I’m gonna have a party
Oh, fuck it
I’m gonna have a party

I had the blankest year
I saw life turn into a TV show
It was totally weird
The person I knew I didn’t really know

Nada Surf rules.
grand rapids is cold and snowy and looking out the window every morning is sad.

that being said, i like it when it's snowing.

I've had a couple good days.

Note to self: tonight, at the bar, don't spend 40 dollars at half off night. you might die.



Saturday, December 1, 2007


I'm not asking for a girl to love me. I've had that once or twice. All I'm asking for is a girl that will let me love her for everything, and more than what she is. Because, in my experience, that is when girls get scared. That's when she ends everything.

A girl will never know what true love is like.
Only because she doesn't want to know.

I want to be a terrible person.
Only because being a real, kind, honest, loving, genuine person... killing me.

I've made mistakes, yes. I am human.
But I'm fucking tired of feeling like shit because I constantly do the best I can and fail.


Monday, November 26, 2007

Nobody in America, myself inluded, uses the english language correclty.
it's fucking pointless. just like most things in life. my life.
i can't really name one productive thing i've done in the past year.
realism can be so god damn depressing sometimes.

what everyone else already knows.


I went bowling last night. I requested a size 8 and my wish was granted. I looked at the shoes I had been given and fell in love. Velcro and all.

I stole bowling shoes last night.

I wore them home and made a mistake. I hope she'll still be my friend.
Even though they're bad luck bowling shoes, I will still wear them.
They look too cool.

Life is strange. Never change.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Hum along..

Love is like a song.
You hear it, and you like it. You love it. You don’t know why.
You can explain why,
but it doesn’t really matter because it’s in you. It’s a part of you.
Love can be Nada Surf’s greatest vocal melody, or it can be that band that plays at that coffee shop every other weekend that thinks they’re the next Between The Buried And Me.
It also doesn’t matter what your friends say. They could list a million things wrong with a song, and you could even agree with most of it. But it doesn’t change a damn thing. You love it. It’s in you, and it’s a part of you.

The song never leaves either. It starts out as a mind blowing Radiohead creation. But when the union between you and your favorite song ends for reasons beyond your control, the love is still there. You hardly ever play it anymore, but you can’t help but hear it everywhere you go. Then someone new will hear the song, they’ll love that same song you can’t help but still love…. And they’ll tell you why, and you’ll tell them why not. Either way, you’ll always know the words.

That song will always be a part of you.
The song will change you forever.